The Trailing Spouse

It's not a game bird.

Moving because of your spouses job offer?

Moving can be a difficult and stressful time for any couple, made more so when the move is not "directly" yours. Both may feel the losses of friends, co-workers and community, but added to this may be feelings of guilt for causing the move, or resentment for having to go along with it.
Both partners need to feel they have an equal say in the decision. Communicate, compromise, and weigh the sacrifices you both must make. Make sure all major objections are addressed, to cut short any lingering feelings of resentment or unhappiness. Work together, support each other, and move through this stressful situation.
If both parties work, emphasis the opportunities and options of the trailing spouse. Create a timeline: is now the time for a new career? More training? Further school? What is your dream job? How long can you go without working? (Financially and mentally) Network in the new community, perhaps even at your spouses new job. Does he/ she have a relo package that includes job searches for you? Use the internet! In other words, make sure both partners are grounded and have clear goals and targets.
If you have dedicated your life to raising children, managing the household, or being an active community member, a move means greater loss and abandonment. Get support: ask a close friend or relative to visit with you for a short period after the move, Stay in touch with old friends. You are not alone. Use that internet again! Keep active in a club or sports league..begin your community involvement again.
In short, be aware of the other spouse's feelings and problems when moving. Damaged feelings and suppressed emotions are much worse when left to fester.